Change is Hard

This week started so strong. I think I started too strong. By the end of the week I was simply tired. I'm starting lots of changes, ZenHabits says you shouldn't try to change too many things at once, but I think that's the only way I can do it. I think the old saying, "know thyself" is more applicable here. I've got to just do all the things I'm thinking about. I can't wait around until the time is right. ZenHabits also says to hold yourself accountable, so that's what I'm doing here. Holding myself accountable. Following is a list of my thoughts/actions so far this week:
*Attended 2 OA meetings. They were both very insightful. The second meeting was one where people celebrated how long they'd been on their program. It was so helpful to see what progress looked like. It didn't look perfect. The people still had issues to work through. It was still a struggle. I've always pictured my life being struggle-free at some point. I think that's an unrealistic goal, and I need to revamp my thinking.
*I've thought a lot about the OA process. It's hard. The first thing you have to do is admit that you're powerless over your weight. That's a hard idea to wrap my brain around. I talked with a friend, she explained that it's more like you're powerless alone, which it why you're seeking support. It's true. I've struggled with my weight since 3rd grade. I've never been truly successful. My responses to food are different from a "normal" person. I do need support.
*I've got to make a list of "living well" rules for myself. In OA they call this "abstinence" but I don't like that wording. I have to find the things in my life (mostly food and food habits) that are causing me to fail. I also have to find what will support my success. Then I put these things together and decide to stick to it. When I feel like I can't stick to it, I'll reach out. My hope is to spend my summer pulling these things together. I think the first thing on my list is getting rid of Diet Coke once and for all. Anything that I want that frequently can't be good for me.
*I wen to see my Dr. to have some lab work done. This will be good baseline data. He wants to see me at the end of the summer as well for a follow up. He also is going to try and get me into a nutritionist through my insurance. I think that could really help me with trigger foods.